Sometimes we get envious. It’s natural. Everyone experiences it at one point or another. It’s also completely understandable when in a hobby.
Sometimes you see someone build a model or paint a mini and feel that tiny little tick of envy.
Envy is a feeling of discontent with someone else’s possessions or qualities.
Why can’t I win those competitions?
Why isn’t my build getting more likes?
Why can’t I get sponsored like ____?
Why can’t I be like..? How come..?
I’ve heard all sorts of phases similar to those listed above. People are upset and hurt by feelings of envy and jealousy.
Let me tell you something, envy does hurt because of envy. It’s because our little brains are insecure and fearful. We can be (yes, me too) insecure in our abilities. Terrified that no matter how hard we try that we’ll never be better than someone else. These feelings often feel large and cumbersome but they can be diffused (over time, this isn’t a one-and-done thing)
Let me start off with a few side notes before we get into working on those emotions.
First of all, social media is crap at determining who is great at their hobby or not. You aren’t always the best Gunpla builder if you have 10k followers or likes. I know great builders who have a small following or whatnot. It doesn’t matter.
Secondly, just because someone posts something on social media doesn’t mean we see the whole picture. We don’t see their mistakes or mishaps unless they post them. We only see a fraction of what they do and it may be the only positive part.
Finally, this is something that infuriates me a tad bit, sponsorship is not as important as some make it out to be. It does not mean that you’re great at your hobby. It doesn’t make anyone better than anyone just because they’re backed by a business. I’ve seen great and not-so-great people sponsored. No one is better because of sponsorship.
So let’s look into diffusing envy a little.
1. Acknowledge it
Admitting your enviousness is the first step. It sucks because you have to acknowledge your own insecurity and such, which is a difficult thing to do. No one likes to do it but it has to be done.
We may notice it because we may get hostile to whatever is giving us these feelings.
2. Try a bit of self-compassion
It’s okay to realize that you see someone doing something and you’re not. Try to tell yourself that everyone deals with these emotions of self-doubt.
3. Try compassion
Sometimes people who appear to be doing better aren’t really. They may be struggling with self-doubt too or other unwanted things. Try to look beyond what their accomplishments or abilities are to them directly as a person.
People need support in both failures and wins. One discord I’m in started something called “Daily Wins” where we post small wins we had.
4. Carefully let it fuel self-improvement.
Envy-fueled self-improvement is bad when it comes to things we can’t fix, like being envious of someone who doesn’t have ADHD for example, or health issues. Things like that.
It can be beneficial if we want to be like someone, in terms of organization or even time management. It might even open up a healthy conversation.
“Oh hey, I noticed you have ___ to store your ___, how did you make it?
“Well, I glued this to this to this
Being envious is annoying and being able to step away from it can cause us to find a little more joy in our hobbies.
I hope you found this post enjoyable. Have any questions or opinions? If so share them in the comments.
Happy Tuesday everyone!