Alien vs Predator: The Only Thing That Wins Is My Disappointment

Aliens and Predator are two of the most beloved science fiction franchises in cinema history. Films that deliver classic lines such as “If it bleeds, we can kill it.” and “Get away from her, you bitch!”. Films that give us the iconic Xenomorph and Yautja. Both are capable, terrifying species. A crossover film sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it?

It does!

This is why the Alien vs. Predator films were such disappointments.

When it came to the original films there was something onto which we could grip. Ripley and her blue-collar struggles are hastened by the presence of the Xenomorph. Arnie and his crew slowly get picked off one by one. It is suspenseful.

Paul Anderson dropped the ball on AVP 1 and rushed to produce a film that honestly rivals The Predator. He missed the unsettling nervousness of watching to see who would be picked off next or the importance of group dynamics. The characters were stagnant and lacked any real personality. Alexa Woods felt like a Ripley knock-off. Honestly, had he put effort into her character then I believe Sanna Lathan would have killed in the role. Then comes Charles Bishop Weyland, who honestly should have been more swarmy than portrayed in the movie. Yes, he schemed a little but not as much as I expected.

The same can be said for AVP: Requiem, which was worse than the first when it came to the plot and characters. It was a weak sequel to a flop of a cross-over. It is far more gruesome than the first but seems to lack more direction and logic. The Predalien was a great concept as we know the Xenomorph takes DNA aspects from its host but misses in its delivery. It was predictable and laughable a good part of the time

The pregnancy scene was simply weird. There was a lot of violence for the sake of violence in this film. The characters are picked off like they were in a low-budget slasher sleepaway film where the blonde takes a shower at the worst of times and only the “pure” character survives.

The fighting for both films was hard to watch, difficult, with the cuts and framing. Not to mention how dark some of these scenes were. I get that it is at night but still.

I would like to see what I am watching.

AVP: Requiem tries to play on the homages of the original films with lines like “get to the chopper” that come off as cheesy rather than cinematic.

Despite their flaws, I enjoyed some parts of these movies. The concept of the Predalien for starters. I also enjoyed a part of the predators in these films, such as the Elder Yautja and Wolf. It is a shame they were rolled out in such poor films. The special effect make up was decent and I expected it to be worse than it was. We also got to see the Yautja homeworld.

I like the ship designs.

I find it funny that the films came out so poor considering that there is such a plethora of materials that could be used for the basis of the films. The comics have such amazing lore and characters that would be amazing to see up on the big screen.

The average time for these films is about one hundred minutes long with small glimmers of potential that were never lived up to, such as the end scene at the very end of part two. They never quite capture the essence of the originals but there still may be hope for the franchises yet.

With the recent success of Prey and newer projects (such as a new Alien series) in the works, we can hope for a newer AVP adaption. 

If you want to check out some great AVP content then I suggest looking at some of the comics! Here are a few of my recommendations (some even feature the engineers from Prometheus!) :

I hope you found this post enjoyable. Have any questions or opinions? If so share them in the comments.

Happy Friday everyone!


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