8 ways I’d cook a Tyranid

Have you ever given a Tyranid a good hard look and realized?

Hey, they look like lobsters and crabs. What would they taste like?

Well, I have, and the thought left me hungry and craving a good crab boil.

Just look at them and tell me they would not be tasty, which begs the question of how one would cook and serve a Tyranid. Yes, lore-wise you probably couldn’t but imagine if you could.

Here are a few ways I would cook a Tyranid.

1. A crab-like boil

Simple. Straight to the point. Toss in some Old Bay (Tony Chachere’s if you want, I am not fussy), orange juice, lemon juice, sausage, potatoes, corn, and some Tyranid meat. Let it boil and you have yourself a satisfying meal.

2. Tyranid lobster roll

Now this is a hot take because being in New England it was always a matter of butter vs. mayo for lobster rolls and I think either would work with Tyranid meat. Butter on a frigid day. Mayo on a hot day. As long as the bun is toasted and there’s a little celery on it.

3. Fried Tyranid served with fries

Done in the same fish and chips style with a nice hard cider. No damp batter.

4. Classic Tyranid Cakes

Quite simple. Little mayo to bind the meat, rolled in panko and fried. Much like traditional crab cakes, there should not be a million and one ingredient’s in Tyranid cakes.

5. Steamed Tyranid with butter.

I wonder if their color would change like lobsters.

6. Tyranid poutine

Normal poutine served with chunks of Tyranid meat on it.

7. Tyranid and pasta.

I think it would pair well with linguine and wine sauce. Maybe a bit of spice to it.

8. Poached

Split open and poached in a spicy broth according to my mother when I asked. She has a culinary degree, so I figured she’d be fun to annoy for answers. (Shout out to her for dealing with my weird questions!)

How would you eat a Tyranid?