The Cerulean Project and I

There’s nothing I love more than community building and building scale models for a good cause. This is why showcasing the Cerulean project is vastly important for the hobby.

What is the Cerulean Project?

The Cerulean Project is a community-based art exhibit featuring builders from across the globe. This exhibit is both featured online and in a printed book. The focus of this project is on building a strong healthy community while also raising awareness for mental health. The book and project provide mental health resources and break down the stigma that surrounds mental health. The man who helped to put it all together is a fantastic caring dude.

The profits from the books and merchandise (shirts, stickers, and so on) are donated to The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project is a nonprofit organization that helps to provide services to LGBTQIA+ youths. This includes free counseling and crisis services.

Here’s a look at:

Builds must be completed between August 1st and November 1st. Mechas, motors, and monsters are on the table this year. Anyone can participate.

These are the first two volumes of the Cerulean project. The gray book is from 2020 and the purple/yellow is from 2021. The colors of the book coincide with the color themes of the builds. Each artist is given a chance to discuss their build and mental health.

The number of artists is growing by the year! Look at the difference between the two years. I’m happy to be able to participate in this year’s volume and be able to share my journey.

This hobby and I: Grief

In 2017, my family faced the tragic passing of my older brother from suicide. I was eighteen, a month out of school. It was the most devastating thing to happen to us and I became lost in the world. Unfortunately, sibling survivors of suicide are often swept under the rug, especially younger siblings. My outer family failed to check up on me and I lost most of my social connections at the time. I was met with “Be there for your parents” and “I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable being around someone like you at the moment (apparently I was bad luck now).

It was the only time in my life when I felt truly isolated and alone.

Not something that a kid should have to deal with on top of losing a sibling.

I dropped my hobbies at the time and could never get back into them. I spent a good while doing nothing but sleeping, binge eating, not eating, and starting college.

College during my first year was terrible. I wanted to do it to keep myself busy so that I wouldn’t have to think about my accumulating grief. It did not end well. I ended that year with a 1.25 GPA, academic probation, and a “take the summer off”.

That left me again with nothing to do. It was suggested to me that I try and find a new interest in my life. At the time I had watched Pacific Rim for the very first time.

My mom decided to take me to my local comic book store to see if they had any figures for it in hope that I would find a new interest. I actually did find one, but not in Pacific Rim.

The owner, John, had pointed me in the direction of a row of shelves stacked with boxes.

Me, in my infinite cluelessness, though they were all figures. I was wrong. What I had taken home that day was an Iron-Blooded Orphan HG kit. Imagine my confusion when I opened the box expecting an action figure and got a bunch of runners.

After a quick google search, I discovered what Gundam and Gunpla were. I decided to snap it together and see how that went.

I snapped together a little hand-grenade of a kit and got hooked.

I got hooked hard. It was something that had managed to pique my interest and allowed me to have something productive to do while working through my grief cycle.

I went back to school, changed majors, graduated with my Associate’s, and am currently ready to graduate with my Bachelor’s Degree next January. Then I started meeting new people once I got on Instagram and formed new social connections.

It honestly felt like Gunpla and Scale modeling helped me become a new person who is constantly changing for the better.

This Cerulean Project falls on the fifth anniversary of my brother’s passing. I’m dedicating this build to my grief process that I’m still going through. It signifies the growth between the old me and the new me. That’s the best way for me to describe it.